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              原不是他乡

              时间:2019-08-25来源:网友提供 作者:胡晓军 点击:
              原不是他乡
                
                我在郊外的公路上疾行。时交子夜,月晦星沉,只觉耳边生风,两侧的行道树刷刷倒退。眼前有一束光,但极有限,仅可照亮三尺开外的路面。我的视觉很好,却无法看到自己的全身,能见的只有自己的双手,各按一条长凳,好似我携长凳飞奔,又像长凳载我滑行。下了公路,进入一个村镇,道路变得狭仄,但我的速度丝毫未减。一路行去,家家门户紧闭。只有一户人像是听到响动,有头探了出来张望,不等我看清面目,就缩了回去,慌张中带着畏惧,似乎还有失望。
                
                长凳停在一户门前。天哪,是外婆家!房门自启,八仙桌上摆着红烧肉、油焖笋、干煎带鱼、家常豆腐,都是我小时候常吃、爱吃的,唯独不见两条长凳。视线转向床头,外婆戴着眼镜,正在补我的破裤子,那情形与40年前一模一样。我直趋上前,用两条手臂抱住她的腰,放声大哭。外婆只顾穿针引线,毫无所动,突然地板无缝自裂,发出“咯吱”一声惊响,一切顿消,只有我的泪水湿透了枕巾。
                
                母亲问我有没有见到外公,我说没有。母亲掐指一算,说这就对了,外公百岁已过,转世去了。外婆今年99,还得等上一年。过几天就是清明节,全家去坟上拜一拜。
                
                清明那天,全家在外婆坟前摆开祭品,焚香烧纸。我在向墓碑鞠躬时,忆起那梦,不禁再度泪如雨下。转瞬间一年过去了,正如母亲所说,我此后再没有梦见外婆。
                
                据说人离世后的去向,无非两种——不是成仙,就是做鬼。成仙须要修炼,得道方可逍遥;做鬼无需准备,死了自然成为。所谓仙去、仙逝之类,说得虽好听,可其实修也好、不修也罢,能有几个成仙的呢?所以人与鬼的关联,是最大和最近的。有人说鬼不过是人类幼稚期的臆想物,但怪的是从来未曾消去。至于对鬼的态度,则大相径庭,对已逝的亲人,是思念,心底里对亲情的思念;对陌生的死者,是恐惧,骨子里对死亡的恐惧。思念与恐惧,是不依人类的成熟或幼稚而消长的。对亲情的思念,有时会战胜对死亡的恐惧,虽然如此,防鬼之心必须有,大大甚于防人之心不可无。
                
                关于防鬼,外婆曾对我说起母亲当姑娘时的一次险遇。那天母亲在厂里加班,回家很晚。路灯坏了,弄堂里黑魆魆、长悠悠、空荡荡的。母亲拐过个弯,迎面见那水泥砌的垃圾箱的铁盖上,站着一个老头。老头瘦而矮,穿白袍,通身发亮,手里有串钥匙之类的东西,抛了接、接了抛,发出“嚓啷——嚓啷——”的响声。仔细看那老头的脸,细眼朝天,下巴尖翘,在极诡异地笑!母亲浑身寒毛直竖,手脚冰冷,心底却腾起一种上前的冲动。就在此时,感觉肩上被拍了一下,大惊回头,身后是位大叔。大叔厉声喝道:“小姑娘看啥看,还不赶快回去!”母亲如梦方醒,逃也似的奔回家里。次日早上就发高烧,去医院看了,说是得了风寒,大半个月方愈。外婆去世当夜,我和母亲守灵,问此事是真是假。母亲微微一笑,说你太顽皮,成天价在弄堂里野,脏兮兮的,天全黑了都不回家。外婆年纪大了,管不住你了。
                
                我释然。对于孩子,讲道理说人话不行,讲歪理说鬼话才能听。后来读《阅微草堂笔记》,得知鬼爱在茅厕出没,联想起有用之物为阳、无用之物为阴,而鬼素喜极阴之所,难怪垃圾箱与茅厕处一样容易见鬼。又重读《聊斋志异》,说是僵尸害人,专向人的脚底吹气。联想起有个独角戏里说,男人夜行须先在额头猛拍几掌,拍旺阳火,可令厉鬼不敢近身。女人和小孩没有此火,必须昼出夕归。一说脚底,一说额头,实在殊途同归。防鬼之法暗合养生之道,比如尽量回避污秽麇集之地,又如睡时遮盖脚底以免寒气入侵。妇孺抵抗力弱,自须小心;男性火力旺盛,虽能抵挡一阵,却也不可大意。至于深夜,阳极衰而阴极盛,最宜居家安睡,保养身心。若长期熬夜不眠,则等于慢性自杀。人之死亡,除器官自然衰竭外,大抵是由自身疏漏、被外疾侵入所致。原来鬼就是病,防鬼就是防疾避灾、就是养生延年。再推下去,什么防河鬼、防山鬼、防路鬼、防烟鬼、防色鬼、防贪食鬼,都是劝人小心行事,顺人体天性和自然规律而为。人与鬼的关联,太多太近,有的要敬、有的要畏,有的须亲近、有的须疏远。梦里阴阳路,归来泪几行。有生应有死,无变亦无常。人去还思切,鬼来因病凉。黄泉无隔阻,原不是他乡。
                
                我在上班路上缓步慢行。天刚放亮,空气清新。一路行去,家家门户紧闭,只有那家夜总会的大门,总是开的,常见男女三五结伴,出来等车。他们衣饰高档却穿戴不整,年纪很轻却神情委顿,显然是彻夜未眠,一个个眼眶乌青、面色煞白、目光呆滞,其中一个猛地抱住树干呕吐起来,顿时秽物飞溅,臭气熏天。
                
                我想,他们昨夜定是遇见鬼了。
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