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              雨楓軒原創文學網 - 純凈的綠色文學家園 !

              雨楓軒

              我家過去年代的一只貓

              時間:2019-08-25來源:網友提供 作者:李娟 點擊:
              我家過去年代的一只貓
                
                我們祖上幾乎每一輩人都會出一個嗜賭成性的敗家子。到了我外婆那一代,不幸輪到了我外公。據外婆回憶,當時破草屋里的一切家私被變賣得干干凈凈,只剩一只木箱一面鐵鍋和五個碗。此外就只剩貼在竹篾墻上的觀音像及畫像下一只破破爛爛的草蒲團。連全家人冬夏的衣裳都被賣得一人只剩一身單衣,老老少少全打著赤腳。
                
                但是外婆一直藏著一只手掌心大小的銅磬。那是她多年前有一次走了五十里的山路,去鄰縣趕一場隆重的廟會時買的。對她來說,這只小小的磬是精美的器物,質地明亮光滑,小而沉重,真是再漂亮不過了。更何況她曾親眼見過廟子里的和尚就是敲著它來念經的(當然,那一只大了許多)。于是它又是神圣的。
                
                她時常對外公說,那是觀音菩薩的東西,不可"起心"。可外公偏偏起了心,有一天輸得紅了眼回家對外婆拳打腳踢,逼她交出磬。后來外婆實在是被打急了,只好從懷中掏出來擲到門檻外。然后一屁股坐到地上大哭起來。
                
                六十多年過去了,外婆至今還時常嘮叨起那只小磬,不時地嘖嘖夸贊它的精巧可愛。而那個男人曾經對她造成的傷害,似乎早已與她毫無關系了。畢竟外公都已經過世半個多世紀。死去的人全都是已經被原諒的人。
                
                此外,外婆時常會提到的還有一只大黃貓。那是繼外公賣掉磬之后,第二個最不該賣的東西。
                
                第一次大黃貓被賣到了放生鋪。放生鋪離家門口只有十幾里路。清早捉去賣掉的,結果還沒吃晌午飯,那黃貓就自己跑回來了。外婆和孩子們歡天喜地,連忙從各自的碗里潷出一些米湯倒給貓喝。
                
                結果第二天一大早貓又被外公捉去了。這次賣到永泉鋪。永泉鋪更遠一些,離家有三十多里。外婆想,這回貓再也回不來了。結果,那天外公還沒回來,那神奇的大黃貓就又一次找回了自家門。虧得外公趕集去的一路上還是把它蒙在布袋子里,又塞進背篼里的。
                
                外婆央求外公再也不要賣了。她說,只聽說賣豬賣雞換錢用,哪里聽說賣貓的!再說誰家屋頭沒養只雞、養條狗的,而自家連雞都沒有一只,就只剩這最后一條養生了……又說,這貓也造孽,都賣了兩次還想著自家里頭,就可憐可憐它吧……但外公哪能聽得進去!過了不久,龍林鋪逢集時他又把那只黃貓逮走了。
                
                龍林鋪在鄰縣境內,離我們足有五十多里。雖然都曉得這回這貓怕是再也回不來了,可外婆還是心存僥幸。她天天把院子里那只喂貓的石缽里注滿清水,等它回家。
                
                這一次,卻再也沒有等到。
                
                我在新疆出生,大部分時間在新疆長大。我所了解的這片土地,是一片絕大部分才剛剛開始承載人的活動的廣袤大地。在這里,泥土還不熟悉糧食,道路還不熟悉腳印,水不熟悉井,火不熟悉煤。在這里,我們報不出上溯三代以上的祖先的名字,我們的孩子比遠離故土更加遠離我們。哪怕在這里再生活一百年,我仍不能說自己是個"新疆人"。
                
                --哪怕到了今天,半個多世紀都過去了,離家萬里,過去的生活被斷然切割,我又即將與外婆斷然切割。外婆終將攜著一世的記憶死去,使我的"故鄉"終究變成一處無憑無據的所在。在那里,外婆早已修好的墳窟依山傍水,年復一年地空著,漸漸坍塌;墳前空白的碑石花紋模糊,內部正在悄悄脆裂;老家舊瓦屋久無人住,恐怕已經塌了一間半套……而屋后曾經引來泉水的竹管殘破不堪,寂寞地橫擱在雜草之中。那泉眼四面圍欄的石板早已經塌壞,泉水四處亂淌,荒草叢生。村中舊人過世,年輕人紛紛離家出走。家門口的小路蓋滿竹葉。這路所通向的木門上鐵鎖銹死,屋檐斷裂。在這扇門背后,在黑暗的房間里,外婆早年間備下的,漆得烏黑明亮的壽棺早已寂靜地朽壞。泥墻上懸掛的紡車掛滿蛛絲……再也回不去了!
                
                那個地方與我唯一的關聯似乎只是:我的外婆和我母親曾經在那里生活過……我不熟悉任何一條能夠通向它的道路,我不認識村中任何一家鄰居。但那仍是我的故鄉,那條被外婆無數次提及的大黃貓,如被我從小養大一般,深深憐惜著它。當我得知它在遠方迷失,難過得連夢里也在想:這么多年過去了,應該往它的石缽里注上清水了!
                
                我不是一個沒有來歷的人。我走到今天,似乎是我的祖先在使用我的雙腳走到今天;我不是一個沒有根的人,我的基因以我所不能明白的方式清清楚楚地記錄著這條血脈延伸的全部過程;我不是沒有故鄉的人--那一處我從未去過的地方,在我外婆和我母親的講述中反復觸動我的本能和命運,而永遠地留住了我。那里每一粒深埋在地底的紫色漿果,每一只夏日午后準時振翅的鳴蟬,比我親眼見過的還要令我感到熟悉。
                
                我不是虛弱的人,不是短暫的人--哪怕此時立刻死去也不是短暫的人。
                
                還有那只貓,它的故事更為漫長。哪怕到了今天,它仍然在回家的路上繼續走著。有時被鄉間的頑童追趕過一條條陌生的溝渠;有時迷路了,在高高的坡崖上如嬰孩一樣凄厲厲地慘叫;有時走著走著突然渾身黃毛乍起,看到前面路中央盤起的一條花蛇……圓月當空,它找到一處隱蔽的草叢臥下。有時是冬月間的霜風露氣,有時是盛夏的瓢潑大雨。
                
                總有一天,它繞過堰塘邊的青青竹林,突然看到院子空地上那面熟悉的石磨,看到石磨后屋檐下的水缸--流浪的日子全部結束了!它飛快地竄進院子,徑直去到自己往日飲水的石缽邊,大口大口地痛飲起來。也不管這水是誰為它注入的。不管是誰,在這些年里正如它從不曾忘記過家一樣,從不曾忘記過它。
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