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              雨楓軒原創文學網 - 純凈的綠色文學家園 !

              雨楓軒

              論時尚

              時間:2019-08-25來源:網友提供 作者:劉瑜 點擊:
              論時尚

                24歲時,我研究生剛畢業,到一所大學就職。學校把我分到了一個教工集體宿舍住,我一走進去,哭了。
                
                在此之前,我辛辛苦苦讀了近20年書,對工作懷有多么熱切的期待啊。它與經濟自立、白襯衫、走廊里的高跟鞋聲,以及可以洗泡泡浴的浴缸聯系在一起。但現在,擺在我眼前的,是一間四人合住的、沒有光線的宿舍,里面堆滿了舊而不夠舊的家具、新而不夠新的行李箱,屋頂因為霉爛脫皮而斑斑駁駁,還有幾個戴大眼鏡的陌生女子坐在那里。這個宿舍甚至不能被稱為“丑”,因為“丑”也可以是一種風格——它只是空洞,就像我們在北京三環、四環邊看到的很多火柴盒樓房,它們不美,甚至說不上丑,只是因為缺乏任何風格和旨趣而讓人覺得茫然。
                
                在沮喪和憤怒漸漸平息之后,我做了一個決定:我要“裝修”我的床所挨著的那堵墻!那時候我沒聽說過“裝修市場”,不懂得可以去買油漆、木板、壁紙,只是突發奇想,買了幾大張深藍和金黃色的紙,然后把它們剪成大塊的方格,再一格一格地貼到墻上。這樣,我就有了一堵黃藍格子的墻。
                
                我的宿舍還是四人間、沒有光線,屋里還是堆滿了難看的家具和行李箱,屋頂還是霉爛斑駁,我還是和那幾個戴大眼鏡的室友一樣,端著搪瓷飯盒去食堂打一塊錢一份的黃瓜炒雞蛋和五毛錢一個的糖三角——但是,我有了一堵黃藍格子的墻!
                
                晚上,靠在床頭,別人睡著了,我看著那堵墻,無比歡喜,心里有小火苗噼里啪啦地響。
                
                今年我36歲。我已經真的經濟上自立,經常穿著白襯衣高跟鞋走在辦公室的走廊里,有一個屬于自己的雖然從來不洗但理論上可以洗泡泡浴的浴缸。此外,我已不能肯定把墻裝飾成黃藍格子是個審美上的好主意,但是有些東西,隨著時間流逝不曾改變,我依然像12年前那樣相信,美是對空洞的抗議。
                
                空洞之于生命,如同獵犬追逐獵物,隨時準備撲倒它、吞噬它。如果沒有春節、端午節、母親節、中秋節、元宵節……時間將流于空洞,一天和另一天沒有什么不同。如果沒有哆、來、咪、發、嗦、拉、西、哆……那么聲音將流于空洞,我們聽到的將只是單調枯燥的嗡嗡嗡。人類發明各種與虛無捉迷藏的游戲,不斷將那只隨時要將我們撲倒和吞噬的“獵犬”甩掉。時尚是這些游戲中的一個。
                
                我不大肯定“時尚”這個詞是否足夠準確,因為現在“時尚”這個詞已經和“流行”“名牌”“明星”……聯系在一起,而我心中的時尚,則是對各種“不假思索”的挑戰——對美缺乏愛慕之心是一種不假思索,跟著“流行”打轉是另一種不假思索,時尚則應該是在一切隨波逐流面前逆行。我媽說,她當年被下放的時候,一切講究穿著打扮的行為都可能被批判為資產階級習氣,但是她實在太愛美了,于是她想出了一個法子,“做件花襯衣,然后把領子翻出來”。我覺得,當年在一片灰黑藍中翻個花領子的我媽,比今天渾身名牌的女明星要時尚得多。
                
                我常跟朋友感慨,如果生長在國外,從小被鼓勵發現自我,可能我不會成為一個老師,而是更可能成為一個設計師。設計什么?大到博物館音樂廳,小到椅子垃圾桶,一切別具一格的東西都讓我躍躍欲試。可惜陰差陽錯,我成了大學老師,今天再去改行顯然已機會渺茫。因此,有時想起這個世界上有那么多設計師,他們像巫師一樣,讓原本如此乏味的世界在想象力的大風中前進得一個趔趄接一個趔趄,心里這叫一個羨慕嫉妒恨。
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