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              原来,爱可以后会有期(4)曾经有个人

              时间:2019-07-09来源:本站原创 作者:卜算子 点击:
               
              第四章 曾经有个人 上
                  钱南宇出院了,在医院门口我遇见了来接他出院的女孩,这女孩我没有见过,也未曾听他提起过,但我认出了她的声音:那个通知我钱南宇跳楼的人。她叫聂婷婷,我想起春晚那个“婷婷不要走”的小品,忽而觉得她也许就是钱南宇的真命天女,她一定是个单纯美好的女孩,虽然我与她未曾相处过,但我很喜欢她的声音。
                  “你真的不问我吗?”钱南宇上车前再次确认。
                  我摇摇头,说了句很有哲理的话。“因为太想知道所以不敢知道,所幸装作无法知道。懂吗?”
                  他送了我一个“滚”字,便载着美人潇洒离去了。我知道,他不可能再是我的哥们了。
                  “走吧,师傅。”我回到车里,今天要替楠姐接一位贵宾,所以我只是顺便来看看钱南宇。
                  汽车飞驰,记忆将我带回到高考结束的那个夏天。
                  “你好,我叫越小欢,以后请多多指教!”我微微颔首,第一次主动介绍了自己。
                  “你好,我叫季莫。”男孩很认真地看着我,而我却忍不住笑出了声。
                  “有什么好笑的?”糟糕,他很不悦。
                  “对不起啊,我只觉得如果你姓陈的话,岂不是要叫,沉默?”我居然还有心情开玩笑。
                  “我姓莫,莫言的莫!”他纠正我的判断时,态度坚决。
                  “那你为什么不叫墨迹啊?”我再次开玩笑。
                  我的脑袋当时一定是进水了,一向沉稳的我怎么会对一个陌生人如此放肆呢?难道要怪他长得太帅气,还是要怪他给人的感觉太亲切呢?
                  “我母亲姓季。”他道,然后给我一个大大的白眼。
                  轮到我沉默了,我想脑子进水的人是他,面对如此无礼的我竟然还可以如此好脾气的解释。
                  “怎么不说话了?”他追问,眼神探究着我的想法。
                  “理屈词穷!”其实,我只是找回了理智。我发现我无法“自来熟式”地成为幽默的人,他不会知道我此刻很讨厌自己。而他应该也不会知道,在与他日渐相处的日子里,我喜欢上了他。喜欢他谈吐得体又不失风趣幽默,喜欢他爽朗清澈的笑声和隐藏在眼神里的骄傲,喜欢他做事干净利落和谦虚好学,喜欢他明确的知道自己的当下和未来。
                  而我,有什么值得被喜欢的优点吗?
               
              第四章 曾经有个人 中
                  爱上他,应该是在远走近十年的父亲突然回来的那天。
                  我哭得昏天暗地,晕倒在路边。醒来的时候他在我身边,原来他一早发现我状态不好,一路跟着我。
                  医院消毒水的味道很难闻,我肿着双眼说:“带我回家吧!”后来,她给我起了个“流浪猫”的外号。
                  他的家有个很大的落地窗,虽然只是一个人住,却很有家的感觉。相片墙上挂满了一家三口的旅行照片,有他小时候的百天照,有他父母的结婚照,还有他们的亲子照。这些,在十岁以后便是我不再拥有的。
                  “我爸在我妈去世后就离家出走了,我一直被寄养在我大姨家。”我对他说着我的故事。“十年,我都不知道他是生是死,他也对我不闻不问。我以为我会忘了他的样子,可我还是在人群里一眼就认出了他。”
                  “你爸妈应该非常相爱。”他笃定,并没有直接安慰我。
                  “是。”我微愣,他猜的很准。
                  我回忆着一些往事。夕阳里散步,父母总是手牵着手,每到周末父亲会亲自下厨做母亲爱吃的红烧肉,我经常听见父亲说“老婆辛苦了,老婆谢谢你,老婆你真好”,当时我还是个快乐的小女孩。
                  “你爸真的很爱你们。”他又笃定。
                  “他不爱我。”我反驳,自嘲道:“爱我怎么会留我一个人呢?”
                  “我爸常对我妈说孩子大了就会远走高飞,而爱人却会一直守在身边,所以更爱我妈,但有时候人会因为深爱而不敢面对离别,所以我爸对我妈简直是无微不至,因为害怕失去。这种感觉只有失去的人才能体会,你是无辜的,但也是最能让你爸爸陷入悲伤的人,他看到你一定会想到你母亲,但我相信,这十年来,他一定一直在关注你,并努力地靠近你。”
                  他一直在说,我一直在听,就像一篇优美的散文,读进了我的心里,是的,我要的不是恨,而是证明父亲并不想抛弃我。
                  “如果我是你,我也会难过,但我可能还会感激他对母亲至死不渝的爱情。”他很感性地道:“越深爱越容易受伤,情深不寿大概就是这个意思。”
                  “你,深爱过?”
               
              第四章 曾经有个人 下
                   咖啡店的老板打算介绍男朋友给我,我以上大学为理由拒绝,不料老板说对方和我上同一个大学。
                  “楠姐,您千万别告诉我名字。”我拜佛一样的拜她。
                  “是我朋友的孩子,我还真不知道叫什么。”楠姐打趣道:“比季莫帅多了。我给你问问吧?”她逗着我,却瞟着季莫。
                  “我认罚酒!”今天我才发现楠姐是个记仇的主,前些天喝酒被我们灌醉,今天是要讨回来一些的,只是今天就我们三个,显然我和季莫吃亏。
                  “不行,要么你就同意看看,要么就。”楠姐想了想,道:“直接定下来。我朋友家孩子真的很不错哦!”
                  “不行!”季莫抢在了我前面拒绝,最吓人的是他抓住了我的手。
                  “你都要出国的人了,凑什么热闹啊!”楠姐看热闹不嫌大,但我知道季莫说的是醉话,他只要不开心,喝酒就会醉,然后醉话连篇,最后选择性失忆。这是近一个月来常有的事。
                  “我可以不出国。”他认真地看着我,仿佛等着我一句中肯的挽留。
                  “他醉了。咱别耽误了祖国的花朵。”我的话音刚落,他便已经耷拉着头靠在了椅背上,看不出什么异样,但总觉得有那么点奇怪,楠姐对我浅笑着摇头,最终什么都没说。她知道我的心意,只是我不愿改变别人的命运。
                  酒醒后,我和季莫还是那样互怼着过活,偶尔他会来我家蹭饭,对我爸的红烧肉赞不绝口,偶尔让我客串女朋友去看他健忘症的外婆,我们已经不在楠姐那上班,但每天都会去她那里报道,好像在为见面找个借口。
                  每天每天能有多少个每天呢!直到大学开学前一天,季莫出国,这个每天便成了记忆里的昨天。
                  爱一个人是给予他追求的自由而不是束缚,我既无法与他并肩同行,便不能拖累他的脚步。
                  他认真地说:“苏越,三十岁你未嫁,我就回来娶你。”值得一提的是,就在昨天,我爸帮我改了名字,受“季莫”的启发,我很喜欢,也感谢季莫。
                  我嘻哈地道:“行啊,到时候你未婚我就给你生个孩子好啦!”
                  开着玩笑送他离开,我们便再没有了联系。
                  昨天的昨天是回忆,明天的明天是未来。我们却只能活在当下。
                  手里举着“James”的名字,我在人群里寻找着它的主人。来来往往接机的人很多,这里有离别也会迎来重逢。
                  “流浪猫,我回来了。”记忆里的声音温柔地在我的身后响起,我的心跳漏掉了半拍。回忆太多产生的幻觉吧?我想。
                  这时有人拽我的衣角,我低头看见一个四五岁大的可爱男孩,而他的左手正牵着季莫。
              作品集卜算子 责任编辑:秋雨枫
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